60+ Funny Quotes | Laughing Quotes

60+ Funny Quotes

Ready for a good laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious quotes and witty one-liners to lift your spirits and make you smile. Whether you’re looking for a pick-me-up or just need something to share with your friends, these funny Quotes, Laughing quotes, Funniest quotes, funny quotes about work, Funny Quotes about life, Funny Quotes about love, Relationship & Funny quotes about friends etc.

 Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life
“Life is like a roller coaster: full of ups, downs, and a lot of screaming.”
“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Laugh like a hyena at a bad joke.”
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’them later.” — Mitch Hedberg
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“Life is a game, but I seem to have misplaced the instructions.”
“Life is like a pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”
“Life is too short to diet. Eat the cake, buy the shoes, and take the nap.”
“Life is like a treadmill. You’re always moving, but you never really get anywhere.”
“Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.”

Funny Quotes About Marriage

Funny Quotes About Marriage
“Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.”
“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”
“Marriage is just a fancy way of saying, ‘Let’s annoy each other for the rest of our lives.'”
“Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.”
“Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy… and then argue about who left the socks on the floor.”
“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready to be institutionalized just yet.”
“Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade.”
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”
“Marriage is like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”

 Funny quotes About families

 Funny quotes About families
“Families: Where life begins and love never ends… but where arguments never seem to end either.”
“In a family, there’s always that one person who knows everyone’s secrets and uses them as leverage during Monopoly.”
“The family tree is full of nuts, but hey, they’re our nuts.”
“Family vacations are all about making memories, like the time we got lost in a foreign country and argued over who had the worst sense of direction.”
“Family: Where you can be your true, weird self and still be loved unconditionally, even if they make fun of you for it.”
“Having a family means you’re never alone, even when you desperately crave some alone time.”
“Family gatherings are like a buffet of dysfunction. You just have to pick your plate and hope for the best.”
“Family: The only group of people who can get on your nerves and still be the ones you can’t live without.”
“Having a family is like having a blender without a lid. Sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes it’s messy, but it’s always a whirlwind of emotions.”
“In a family, everyone has a role to play. Some are the clowns, some are the drama queens, and some are just trying to keep the peace… and failing miserably.”

Funny Quotes About Friends

Funny Quotes About Friends
Friends are like bras: supportive, close to your heart, and sometimes a little bit uncomfortable.”
“Friends are like wine. They get better with age, but too many of them can leave you with a headache in the morning.”
“A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun!'”
“Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life. But sometimes, they’re also the raisins… and that’s just wrong.”
“Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them, they disappear.”
“Friends don’t let friends do silly things… alone. Let’s do them together!”
“A friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a dead body. Just saying.”
“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.”
“Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. But the true ones stick to your face like sand.”
“A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though they know you’re slightly cracked.”

Funny Quotes About Work

Funny Quotes About Work
“Work: It’s like a walk in the park, except the park is on fire and everything’s on deadlines.”
“Work is like a refrigerator. You open it multiple times but still can’t find anything good inside.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode at work.”
“Work: The fine art of pretending to be busy when your boss walks by.”
“The best part about work is when the coffee kicks in and you realize it’s still only Monday.”
“I don’t have a bad attitude at work. I have a selective enthusiasm disorder.”
“Work is the key to success, but if you keep hitting the wrong key, you end up on the IT helpdesk.”
“I’m not saying I hate my job, but if it had a face, I’d punch it.”
“Work would be so much better if we could just replace the ‘s’ with an ‘h’.”
“If you think your job is hard, remember that someone out there is a professional bubble wrap popper.”

Very Short Funny Quotes

Very Short Funny Quotes
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
“I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.”
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just practicing my parkour skills.”
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.”
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.”
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.”

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