
Ready for a good laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious quotes and witty one-liners to lift your spirits and make you smile. Whether you’re looking for a pick-me-up or just need something to share with your friends, these funny Quotes, Laughing quotes, Funniest quotes, funny quotes about work, Funny Quotes about life, Funny Quotes about love, Relationship & Funny quotes about friends etc.
Funny Quotes About Life

“Life is like a roller coaster: full of ups, downs, and a lot of screaming.” |
“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Laugh like a hyena at a bad joke.” |
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’them later.” — Mitch Hedberg |
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” — Anonymous |
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” — Ellen DeGeneres |
“Life is a game, but I seem to have misplaced the instructions.” |
“Life is like a pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” |
“Life is too short to diet. Eat the cake, buy the shoes, and take the nap.” |
“Life is like a treadmill. You’re always moving, but you never really get anywhere.” |
“Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.” |
Funny Quotes About Marriage

“Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.” |
“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” |
“Marriage is just a fancy way of saying, ‘Let’s annoy each other for the rest of our lives.'” |
“Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.” |
“Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy… and then argue about who left the socks on the floor.” |
“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready to be institutionalized just yet.” |
“Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” |
“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade.” |
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” |
“Marriage is like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.” |
Funny quotes About families

“Families: Where life begins and love never ends… but where arguments never seem to end either.” |
“In a family, there’s always that one person who knows everyone’s secrets and uses them as leverage during Monopoly.” |
“The family tree is full of nuts, but hey, they’re our nuts.” |
“Family vacations are all about making memories, like the time we got lost in a foreign country and argued over who had the worst sense of direction.” |
“Family: Where you can be your true, weird self and still be loved unconditionally, even if they make fun of you for it.” |
“Having a family means you’re never alone, even when you desperately crave some alone time.” |
“Family gatherings are like a buffet of dysfunction. You just have to pick your plate and hope for the best.” |
“Family: The only group of people who can get on your nerves and still be the ones you can’t live without.” |
“Having a family is like having a blender without a lid. Sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes it’s messy, but it’s always a whirlwind of emotions.” |
“In a family, everyone has a role to play. Some are the clowns, some are the drama queens, and some are just trying to keep the peace… and failing miserably.” |
Funny Quotes About Friends

Friends are like bras: supportive, close to your heart, and sometimes a little bit uncomfortable.” |
“Friends are like wine. They get better with age, but too many of them can leave you with a headache in the morning.” |
“A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun!'” |
“Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life. But sometimes, they’re also the raisins… and that’s just wrong.” |
“Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them, they disappear.” |
“Friends don’t let friends do silly things… alone. Let’s do them together!” |
“A friend will help you move, but a true friend will help you move a dead body. Just saying.” |
“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” |
“Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. But the true ones stick to your face like sand.” |
“A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though they know you’re slightly cracked.” |
Funny Quotes About Work

“Work: It’s like a walk in the park, except the park is on fire and everything’s on deadlines.” |
“Work is like a refrigerator. You open it multiple times but still can’t find anything good inside.” |
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode at work.” |
“Work: The fine art of pretending to be busy when your boss walks by.” |
“The best part about work is when the coffee kicks in and you realize it’s still only Monday.” |
“I don’t have a bad attitude at work. I have a selective enthusiasm disorder.” |
“Work is the key to success, but if you keep hitting the wrong key, you end up on the IT helpdesk.” |
“I’m not saying I hate my job, but if it had a face, I’d punch it.” |
“Work would be so much better if we could just replace the ‘s’ with an ‘h’.” |
“If you think your job is hard, remember that someone out there is a professional bubble wrap popper.” |
Very Short Funny Quotes

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” |
“I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.” |
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just practicing my parkour skills.” |
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” |
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” |
“I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.” |
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” |
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.” |
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” |
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.” |
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